GREEN SLIME MONSTER IN VISTA?!
By Al Packa

[ A collage of photographs of green splattered walls and sidewalks decorates the top of the article.]

Critics and non-believers scoffed and taunted but we can safely say they’re the ones who look like fools now. Here, Vista City Arcane photographers have provided photographic proof of the stains left behind by a creature of another world, and no these photos were not altered in any way. There’s a Slime Creature loose in our own city.

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Flowers Over Bones’ Pao-Lin Endorses Fried Chicken Restaurants
By Rick Role

Miss Pao-Lin Huang has gained a reputation as the cutest and hungriest of the members of the hit band Flowers Over Bones. If you’ve ever seen her perform in her almost dance-like percussion style, it shouldn’t shock you that with all that movement and energy that she naturally needs her nutrition to keep moving. Between the popularity of her band and their recent flash performance at Brad’s Diner in Vista City, it was no surprise when food sponsors started to line up and bid on the young percussionist’s blessings.

It was chicken, more accurately the fried chicken fast food chain Kung POW Chicken that won Pao-Lin’s first official endorsement. (Brad’s could be considered Flowers Over Bones’ first food endorsement but since the diner is not a sponsor it’s not quite as official a deal in the eyes of Virgo and some fans.) Other bidders that lost but might receive future endorsements include Coldcone Icecream and Taco Hell.

Flowers Over Bones fans will be excited to hear that plans are already in motion to feature Pao-Lin in an upcoming commercial for the chain and it’s rumored the rest of the band might appear in it as well. Kung POW Chicken has announced that they are developing a new recipe for a spicy fried chicken plate that will be named in Miss Huang’s honor. Still no word on what the included side dishes might be but judging by the graphics accompanying the announcement Pao-Lin’s signature flower, the aster, will be decorating the plates and cups at Kung POW restaurants very soon.

Flowers Over Bones Stands Over Bones?
By Gabby Gums

We’ve all heard music by Flowers Over Bones and we’ve all heard about how their close family-like dynamic is a big part of their success as a group and appeal. But what if the family connection is more than just a publicity stunt? That’s right; the members of Flowers Over Bones are actually blood relatives who have taken advantage of their familial ties to get ahead and they’re not from just any family. They’re from the mob and incredibly high ranking members too. They just happened to enjoy making music together.
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