interstellar90210 | The Vista City Arcane

GREEN SLIME MONSTER IN VISTA?!
By Al Packa

[ A collage of photographs of green splattered walls and sidewalks decorates the top of the article.]

Critics and non-believers scoffed and taunted but we can safely say they’re the ones who look like fools now. Here, Vista City Arcane photographers have provided photographic proof of the stains left behind by a creature of another world, and no these photos were not altered in any way. There’s a Slime Creature loose in our own city.

When one thinks slime they think of snails or slugs but our interdimensional creature experts have concluded that this creature is a more advanced life form. To get a better idea of what the creature is like one simply has to look at the stains it left behind.

Our creatures expert explains, “If it was a slug-like creature that moves on its stomach the stains would be trailed but these stains are more like splatters- as if someone tossed paint at the surfaces that have been stained. This leads me to conclude that the creature we’re dealing with is not covered in slime but stores it instead then shoots it at targets. Most likely this is some sort of saliva.”

A slime spitting monster? Do city residents need to be worried? We checked with local hospitals and were told no one has had an emergency involving slime or getting hit by the green substance yet. It would seem that humans have yet to encounter the creature, suggesting that it’s more afraid of us than we are of it. Still, we suggest caution be practiced as with any loose wild animal.

As for the slime left behind, it has been sighted all over the city though more often in alleyways and in quiet residential areas. Contact with the slime did no damage to human tissue, though it can stain skin much like dipping your hand into ink. Thankfully it washes off easily with soap and water, and the slime staining city walls immediately washed away with water. Perhaps the strangest thing about the slime is that it disappears without a trace after a few hours. Samples we’ve collected have yet to be chemically analyzed, as we’ve had some trouble getting the samples to our lab before they evaporate in the blink of an eye. This unnaturally fast evaporation process further proves the slime to originate from an interdimensional creature.

Of course what we really want is to see the creature with our own eyes and that is why Vista City Arcane is offering a cash reward of $500 for anyone who can provide an authentic photograph of the slime creature.

Still have doubts? Look online and you’ll find video and photos of the stains taken by third parties with no connection to Vista City Arcane.