interstellar90210 | Vista Sun

TRANSFORMERS: ROBOT IN DISGUISE
By Shen Annie Gains

If her being a gang leader wasn’t already enough, Garnet of Cosmic Indulgence isn’t even human! She’s a robot! Where is the proof, you might ask? Let us take a look at Garnet’s appearance. One: Garnet's hair is an unnatural shape and seems to be that shape at all times. Her Square-haired gang, who endeavor to emulate her, can barely achieve something so close. The reason, of course, is that they have actual human hair. Garnet, who has perfect robotic vision, wears her sunglasses, even at night. This is to not only hide her robotic eyes but to provide her with data-analysis of all the human beings around her. There is also of course her height and strength. What we thought was just a phenomenal Amazonian physique, is truly the sculpted metal of a metal automaton.

All of this, we could of course, forgive! A robot who seeks to share their music with the world is certainly no threat to Vista. However, Garnet is no music playing robot! She is a notorious gang leader! What’s even worse, her most recent gang are calling themselves "Chromes" and are just another, though upgraded, division.

But where we first thought that these were just poor misled fans, it turns out, that these fans are being taken in by the rest of the gang, and turned into cyborgs to better emulate their gang leader!

We warn any concerned citizen who has loved ones who start exhibiting the signs of being a part of Garnet’s gang.

First: Is their personal space be it a room, car, or secret gang-head quarters littered with Cosmic Indulgence merchandise that only focuses on Garnet?

Second: Have they started wearing clothes that are unique or endorsed by the robotic singer? Fashioning it into squares and insisting on sunglasses even at night?

Third: Are they distancing themselves from old friends and seeking only those who share their views regarding the robot singer? When confronted by their old friends or loved ones, do they throw a fit of rage only to claim to be shaking and crying and feeling incredibly attacked despite literally no harm being done to them?

Fourth: Are they actively seeking and even harming others to try and force them to look like their robotic gang leader?

And lastly: Have they stopped attending school or work in order to only attend Garnet’s concerts?

If your loved one is showing any of these signs, we at the 'Vista Sun' suggest immediate intervention and possible therapy before the authorities need to get involved.