Xanxus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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interstellar902102016-01-12 04:49 pm
variaboss) wrote in interstellar902102016-01-12 04:49 pm
Entry tags:
Tabloid - Interstellar Star
All that beautiful hair is all a sham.
by Vidal Sassoon
Today I mustache you a question and you're allowed to mullet over. But don't take to long because it's fairly apparant that there is a sham in our midst. Two shams in fact. Koumei Ren from Cosmic Indulgence and Superbia Squalo of MANTICORE, both known for their luscious long locks have been perpetuating a hair raising scam. I little beard told me and others have whisker it in my ears. I have recorded them and I have watched the highlights. I now have undeniable proof that both those mile long lengths of hair are in fact wigs! Let these pictures speak for themselves.
(Images of Squalo and Koumei deeply photoshopped to be very very bald)
As you can see it doesn't take Sherlock to comb through the evidence and get to the root of the issue. We can see the sun's reflection for their naked domes. Hair today, gone tomorrow!
It's no wonder if looks so good. To get a wig like that, these men have toupee a lot of money. But this is a very hairy situation for these two folically challenged rock stars. Why they thought to fool us and joined the hairforce is anyone's guess. Perhaps they were hoping for a permanent fix to their situation. Or maybe they were hoping we would never find out.
Any attempt to contact the two has been cut short by their management. The stars themselves were rather snippy with Squalo claiming that his hair is not only real but that he keeps it shiny and smooth by sacrifice small children to the devil. But really, that's cutting it fine and I hope they will come clean with us and straighten out this problem.
Remember boys; bald can be beautiful too. Let those wigs fall to the wayside. Don't get more tangled in your lies and bare who you really are to the world.
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@interstellarstar My brush begs to differ. #lies #alllies #naturalbornredheadandproud
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@longlocks
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@lightbringer clearly. they don't need to deal with this daily.
Koumei Ren @therealkoumeiren
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@longlocks
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@longlocks I believe you've run out of puns, dear. There's not a hair of a chance for you to find a new supply on sale, either. #gotcha
these puns are making me cry, you're amazing
[ apparently it really IS kiss a ginger day? but more importantly please pretend LOL CHARACTER COUNT and that first tweet is separated properly. ]
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[ ...this is apparently literally all that he remembers of your good looks and rich personality, Keith ]
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[ a very important distinction. ]
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not here
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[ operation: "believe squalo prefers maid and butler cafes" is now underway ]
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[ operation: "believe squalo prefers maid and butler cafes" has become operation: "escape bodyguards long enough to get to unCHAINed again, except he was so blackout drunk he can't remember if it was Ursa who banned him from the place or the club's management" ]no subject
[
that sounds like it could be an adventure. :0]no subject
[ he only repeats things to make sure people understand!
this time he inserts a Yalp? link with reviews, directions, and... probably one or two pictures that never got deleted by management of him and Genos making flirty assholes of themselves. ]
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[
ty Mei]no subject
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he's trying so hard to understand......
gold star for effort
D+ is still passing and that's all that matters
[ because they've proved that keith will enter and lose almost every drinking contest, especially if it involves "loser picks up the tab" ]
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