interstellar90210 | ontd_bandom: LMAO I HOPE THEY PRESS CHARGES

"BANDOM" CONVENTION DISRUPTED AFTER BALL PIT FIGHT INJURES 9, HURTS FEELS OF 28
Goss Siphund

J. Jabrams, 32, did not expect BandCon III to end in tears and police sirens. The convention organizer made the mistake of asking attendees to talk about their favorite public figure in the music industry -- immediately sending the fans into a frothing rage when others disagreed with their opinions.

"My husband will post bail!" one teenage girl cried as she was led away in cuffs, desperately clinging to a glittery basketball. "Kise and I are married on the astral plane and nothing can change that!"

She, like many others, are being charged with various degrees of unarmed assault.

In a sparse room filled only with a bouncy-castle and ball pit, a 40-year old homemaker broke two noses while claiming Xanxus, Luci, and Luce were "the unholy trinity of crossover ot3s." When further prompted, she added, "Luce grounds them and keeps them from becoming true devils, even though the potential for corruption is half the fun."

One young man broke his neck after the "sharkwives," a group of older women who've collectively agreed that MANTICORE's Squalo belongs to all of them, said voilence was the answer to his love of Tamara. "We know what's best for Squalo," said the spokeswife. "That punk kid doesn't deserve her."

"Kido, my genderless angel," "Yan-chan," and "Queen Undyne" were also hills fans sought to die on.

Another young man had his shirt torn off, revealing a "#slashstep" tattoo*, but suffered no physical injuries. He was reticent, and could only be coaxed into giving a short statement. "I need to get home and update my fanfic."

Co-organizer Be En-Eff, as the night came to a close, was heard to whisper, "Thank god I didn't tell anyone I share a soul with the Doctor's Cello. Or that Greg Universe is the astral father of my baby."

*Editor's note: a reader has pointed out it's no typo, but rather a common term among Flashstep fans, who insist the bandmates are entirely polyamorous with each other.

ontd_bandom: LMAO I HOPE THEY PRESS CHARGES

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