interstellar90210 | (no subject)

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	✿❀✿ Nia ✿❀✿ @officialnia
Why was I born?

	✿❀✿ Nia ✿❀✿ @officialnia
Why do I even exist?

	✿❀✿ Nia ✿❀✿ @officialnia
Am i just a doll?

	✿❀✿ Nia ✿❀✿ @officialnia
am i going to be thrown away?

	✿❀✿ Nia ✿❀✿ @officialnia
what will happen when people get bored of me

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[He watched her, eyes narrowing and then pulls her into a hug.]

What happened? What did he do?

Did you hear about the party?

Not everything, only that some of you went nuts.

[No, he wasn't going to say anything about Lcui's texts to him about how the people in Virgo went crazy. He didn't know about how it ended and he still wasn't sure if anything can be normal between the two labels right now.]

I hurt people. A lot of people. I might have killed someone. [She doesn't know if Yosuke is alive or not, or Genos.]

He... he had someone make us do it. Me... and Tsuna, and Momo, too.

How?

[The sound of coins again... a mummified creature crawling out of a person and then taking on a new form, another one wrapping its bandages around a person swallowing them... Yummies. The idea came out of nowhere and his Core burned as something felt like it was peeled away. Yummies. What do you want? A silver coin, no, a Cell Medal. Ankh hissed at the sharp pain lancing in his head and let go of her pinkie only to stare down at the eye tattooed on the palm of his hand. It might have been his imagination, but the Core Medal seemed to gleam brighter then normal in its disguise.]

What did it feel like?

[Nia's eyebrows raise at the noise but she drops her hand without questioning it.]

It was the music. It made us think... that it was the right thing to do. It felt normal and I--[Oh no there's tears.] I gave him the poison and watched him drink it and laughed at him! Tsuna and I stuck someone in a freezer!

The music..?

[Something wasn't quite right in his head. One part wanted to scream at the idea, raise its wings and scream to the heavens and hells in all its defiance and glory let the fire come let the world burn we are nothing more than slaves to your desire, O King but the other part dismissed it as being stupid. Whoever heard of music having that kind of power?

But no. Music was a key to the soul. People say how words and song changed their lives, he had fan letters that spoke of his redemption from some drugged out gangbanger made them turn their lives around. Would it be..?

His head hurt and his tattooed arm trembled, fingers twitching before closing into a fist. Nia was crying and he just let the thoughts go and turned, wrapping his arms around her.]

It wasn't you then. Someone else rolled that dice and you were just the vehicle for those actions.

[He needed to talk to Luci and the others that saw this because it sounded worse then the dreams or that night in the basement or when he remembered the King and his Core.]

It's even worse. Naomi--when Ms. Santiago came, she killed her! She threatened us and I spoke to Mr. Blanche...

He said if we don't obey him, he won't protect us from her.

What are they playing at? What is it that they are trying to do?

[If he had been there, would he have fallen into that spell too? Would it change these things he kept on remembering?

Remembering... that was what these pieces were from. Like the Core and the strange feelings. Silver said to trust his gut and his gut said memories.]

We're missing pieces. I don't know what or how, but there are missing pieces. I think he was telling the truth about protecting you from her. All of us, probably.

She teleported! And her hand was in--!

[Yeah no that's a terrible memory Nia is falling apart again.] I'm scared. What if he wants us to kill people again?

Teleported..?

[Another memory, the swirling coins -no Cell Medals- surrounding the glowing Cores, laughter and a face like that of a shark's. Grabbing for the chest, for the Cores glittering in the center of that mass, needing, wanting, never whole you will never be whole.

He didn't need this now, instead Ankh rubbed her back, making a strange cooing sound that shouldn't be normal for any human before realizing what he was doing.]

We can't do anything against that now. He's... he's like the King of my dreams. I couldn't stop him either, but the thing with those kind of people is that they will have an opening sooner or later. We have to keep our heads down and keep quiet until they drop their guards.

I can't do anything... even when they do.

Don't say that. Never say that. If you say it too many times, then you believe and...

[There was that voice again, the one he sometimes got that seemed to nag at him whenever he was being particularly nasty towards other people. Ankh echoed the words he was hearing.]

If you don't reach out your hand, if you don't even try, then how can you know that you are not able to do anything?

I couldn't stop myself from hurting anyone. I didn't even think something was wrong.

That makes it sound like there's a trigger, doesn't it? That you're getting controlled because if you thought it always, you wouldn't be acting this way now.

But if someone does it to me again... I won't be able to stop it will I?

We don't know that yet. Maybe we won't at first but there's got to be a give some where. They can't force us all the time.

[Nia just presses herself against him.]

I am very afraid Mr. Blanche made it seem like he can.

[And he just wraps an arm around her to hold her and to coo softly in an odd cadence of notes that is suppose to soothe.]

We'll see just what he can and can't do. Meanwhile, don't draw attention to yourself or we'll find out if he can order us to act that way again.

[She goes tense at that and nods.]

I don't want to draw attention at all.

Then keep your head down, don't get too out of focus and if anything weird happens - talking in tongues to weird hair color - act like it's something that you did in your spare time.

But what if I start speaking in tongues and can't replicate it or something? Won't it be strange?

It doesn't go away.

[Ankh switched languages, going from his sharp English to a guttural harsh language that was a close cousin to German. He hugged her to show he wasn't ignoring her.]

You may know just a snippet or it will get all confusing at first but it will get better and it doesn't get forgotten. Trust your gut about anything you suddenly can do. It's a part of us.

I am not so sure trusting my gut is the best idea right now...

Is your gut telling you to run away from this? Or is it telling you that you are a doll like what you were saying in those tweets?