[After some thought, it's occurred to them that this is something worth talking about with the rest of their tangled mess of a team.]

A question for those of you who've listened to the kidnapped parties sing: did you notice anything strange about how you felt, whether physically or emotionally?

Your own misery or complicated feelings at your loved ones being kidnapped and used as performing monkeys not counting. I'm talking about something else.

[The camera opens in what most will recognize as one of the lavish rooms in Pride HQ. At least, at one point it was probably lavish. A lot of the obnoxiously rich stuff has been torn down in a gleeful fit and flung who knows where. Housekeeping always seems to get it back in pristine shape at the end of the week.]

[It's also Artolo's room, something which is apparent because that's who is leaning away from the camera he's just switched on. Sure, Tooru is in the background on what appears to be an enormous pile of mingled pillows and laptop computers taken from who knows where, but with such a mess and wires everywhere...]

[There are mics set up. And thongs, for those who are keeping close enough attention. Artolo is grinning, widely. It doesn't seem like he's gotten much sleep. A Jack-of-Spades necklace is dangling from around his neck.]

Alright, you music hungry pieces of shit. The jack of thorns is here to show you all a little magic trick. It's called "music is everywhere, including your underwear drawer".

[What does that mean?]

[It means he's going to play music on thongs.]

[Artolo's almost copyrighted shiteating grin stays in place throughout the entire thing, until he finally flings the last thong to the side and gives his even more copyrighted snigger. You know the one. It makes 12 out of 10 people want to hold his mouth shut forever.]

There. Now none of you can say I don't do anything for you wasted condoms. Feel free to harass me in the comments below about how I'm ruining the court, or whatever, and maybe I'll harass you back.

[He gets up, but he doesn't immediately turn off the camera. Instead, Artolo heads back over to the pile and Tooru. The mics can just barely pick up a soft "Pretty great, right, like it?" The camera definitely picks up the way he bends down with an uncharacteristic (to most who know him) gentleness and presses his lips into Tooru's hair.]

[Then he turns off the camera. By. Uh. Throwing a laptop at it.]