Cambridge Exes

[trustme]

Doctor and Garnet: Old Flames Turned Nasty Rivals
By Gabby Gums

Doctor from Flowers Over Bones, produced by Virgo Entertainment. Garnet of Cosmic Indulgence, produced by Pride Records. Both are big names this season and you can hear their music on radios everywhere. With the two signed at different companies you might assume that they’re strangers but a phone call to Cambridge reveals a scandalous connection between the two.

They’re exes. And their breakup was not pretty.

Several years ago Doctor and Garnet were enrolled in Cambridge University’s music program and the top of their class. According to witnesses they met in classes and soon became inseparable. They were seen regularly on dates, stopping by Michaelhouse Café after classes each week to discuss their musical endeavors and flirt over coffee. They dated for over a year until for unclear reasons their relationship went south, leading to a dramatic public argument at the café one afternoon.

I sat down for a phone call with Stew Flakers, a barista at the café who was working that day and witnessed the entire scene. “I remember it like it was yesterday,” he tells me, “Garnet was all ‘Doctor I don’t think you take music seriously enough.’ And he went ‘Whaaaaat?!’ And she went ‘Right now it’s me, you, and music, and it’s time for you to go. Three’s a crowd.’ So Doctor throws this fit and shouts so the whole place can hear him. ‘You’re the one who lacks musical genius! I deserve to date a star! You’re a square. You’ve been suffocating me- I feel like I’ve been living in a box!’ And then he stormed out.”

The breakup at the Michaelhouse Café is the last known time that the two have directly talked to each other. Not long after their break up Doctor left the program at Cambridge University and moved to Vista City. Garnet stayed and graduated with top honors. Today they communicate purely through music. Every angry lyric, every heartbroken melody is a message to the other through the radio.

“It’s sad. I thought they were going to get married.” Stew says. “But I guess this makes all their songs extra interesting if they’re really secret messages. Cool beanz.”