interstellar90210 | Pride's Secret Scoop

The Truth Kneeds an Explanation

By: Dames Jond

Who remembers when Tooru Oikawa appeared early February sporting a cast over his knee? No real reason was given, but the injury was present during his performances. There wasn't a publicity gimmick to it. He couldn't move like he should have, and some would say that his cello playing in Crown of Thorns suffered for it.

"Like, I paid good money to see the band at their best. You don't know how long I waited in line either. So what was this?" said one fan about Oikawa's cello playing. "I should get a refund. You hear me? R-E-F-U-N-D."

Others weren't so put off by the injury and wondered where they could send flowers and cards. "We should show our love and support. I'd bake him cookies, but they're probably not goth enough. If I made them out of dark chocolate, do you think they'll get past security?"

Still, people speculated how he got injured in the first place. Maybe he got into a car accident. Maybe there was a recreational event gone wrong. Maybe he was trying something new in the bedroom. The possibilities seem limitless.

Now the cast is off. He still wobbles like it was healed wrong. Why would that happen if he had access to proper, modern medical treatment? Surely, he's insured. Pride wouldn't want their musicians going around broken. They don't have reckless regard for humanity. The party animal image is just that. An image and not reality.

Alas, the answer may shock you. Oikawa is part of a Vista City assassination group. You may have noticed the number of musicians disappearing from the limelight. Were they really fired as we are to believe? We recently spoke to a musician who wished to remain anonymous, and for good reason. "The man [Oikawa] just attacked me outta nowhere. He said that it was nothing personal. He was just doing his job to thin out the weak in the music business. I fought him out of self-defense. I'm packing my bags. There's no way I can stay here. I can take my talent elsewhere. Unlike some people, I don't need to kill for my success."

The reason why Oikawa's leg healed wrong was because he couldn't seek proper medical treatment. He'd have to explain how he broke his knee and admit he failed his mission. That could put him on the target list.

Will Oikawa strike again? I'd keep your eyes peeled on recent firings and see if their names appear in the obituary later.

Pride's Secret Scoop

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