interstellar90210 | A New Vigilante Strikes The Streets!

NEW VIGILANTE STRIKES THE STREETS!
Police Puzzled?...Or Participating?

Legitimate Eyewitness Sketch

A mysterious new vigilante has started to strike fear in the heart of criminals of Vista City! Or so the police have publicly claimed, even though we in Vista City are assured by our anonymous sources that there is no crime in Vista City, and the police are really just trying to find excuses to keep their jobs. This may be the latest example of their tomfoolery - a newly-sighted vigilante the police are code-naming "The Pig-Tailor". Because they have pig-tails, and they are tailor-made for cooking up a situation the police can exploit to put fear in the populace!

We have managed to independently verify that the Pig-Tailor is someone who has been spotted several times in the past few weeks, interfering in various situations that probably didn't need it. Eyewitnesses report someone with incredibly long pigtails, a skirt, and legs up to their face, as the responsible party. There's no indication that anyone's been able to get a look at the person's face, or if they are female or male. (Wearing a skirt confirms nothing, my friends!) Several have even claimed the so-called hero can even fly.

Can a pig really fly? The police claim not, but given how they've been getting an incredible amount of funding in the past few years, which means they can absolutely afford personal propulsion rockets. Not to mention, they can afford whatever gaudy costume the Pig-Tailor can wear. So far, there's no certainty as to the true identity of this obvious front.

But mark our words - we're onto you, VCPD. And we're onto you, Pig-Tailor. You're just a scandal waiting to happen, so consider stopping your escapades before something bad happens to you!

A New Vigilante Strikes The Streets!

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