the shark screws everything in his path and feels no shame

[sharktrash]

END OF THE LINE FOR PRIDE’S DEBAUCHER?

by Jeanne Jettis

[[(( Half the page is taken up by a collage of photos: the biggest are of Squalo onstage tonguing his cello’s neck, a presentably looking Dino in some kind of a party, and the two of them clinking glasses in what appears to be a park, but there’s a lot more smaller ones: heavily mosaic-ed pictures of Squalo and Xanxus’ dick-off, a poor quality image of Squalo and Luci on top of a trailer, another previously published one of Squalo and Genos kissing, and there’s either a shot featuring Squalo or just single portraits of more or less everyone mentioned in the article. ))]]

Last month was unusually quiet for MANTICORE’s Superbia Squalo, rumors of a hand injury prevailing both among the fans and those in the music industry. However, Startime Weekly reporters have discovered a much more scandalous explanation: it looks like the cellist was simply too busy to record much of anything, save for perhaps some really interesting tapes only suitable for a private erotica collection.

Recently, the charismatic bad boy has been spotted together with a rising star from Virgo Entertainment, Hue&Cry’s Dino Cavallone, having what could only be described as a romantic get-together in one of Vista’s greenest parks, complete with wine and murmured sweet nothings that witnesses describe as “a really emotional language… probably French, I’d bet!”

According to a reliable source, the pair was approached by none other than Junkyard Carnival’s own Incubus also known as Xanxus, who proceeded to react violently, yell, and, according to the witness, even hit Squalo several times before both musicians’ security could interfere. This raises even more questions: could this be jealousy? What exactly happened back at South Vista festival, when the two men were seen waving their bare appendages at each other? Isn’t Xanxus in an allegedly happy relationship with Surviving Friday’s golden boy Ryouta Kise, or perhaps things haven’t been quite as well between them as we were led to believe?

While it’s anyone’s guess if Dino knows exactly what he’s getting into here, Squalo’s scandalous career extends far beyond homewrecking another rockstar pair. It’s reasonable to believe he has been just as immoral beforehand, but reports really started piling in once he’s been signed with Pride Records and therefore became more visible to the media.

Along with the aforementioned literal dick measuring contest (to what ends?), it appears as the South Vista Music Festival saw a fair number of first-page worthy incidents: there is photographical evidence of Squalo passionately snogging his own bandmate Genos, slipping away from the crowd with half-undressed Nariko Lunae of Cosmic Indulgence, sharing an intense conversation that witnesses described as “no short of eye-fucking” with Johanna Mason, lead of Nuclear Parliament, and performing in an impromptu mini-concert on top of a trailer with Pride’s #1 Devil, Junkyard Carnival’s Lucifer, also known for her long list of conquests, after which both musicians reportedly slipped off into an empty trailer and spent an undisclosed amount of time in there together. Later, he was seen acting really familiar and handsy with Crown of Thorns pianist Tamara Seward and while both stars insist their relationship is strictly platonic, platonic gropes and kisses are definitely not something you see every day.

Of course, it didn’t end there. A regular visitor of the lounge “The Zone” claims that he’s seen Squalo together with yet another pianist, Cosmic Indulgence’s Koumei Ren, sharing drinks, suggestive touches and what she named as “an extremely heated performance”, after which both stars allegedly went “upstairs” for the rest of the night.

A fan has reached out to us after noticing that “the spunky Twitter communication” between Squalo and Johanna had “completely ceased” around the same time as a rumored Solstice party took place. Did the feisty punk-rocker discover something she was not willing to condone? It has been reported that around this time, Lucifer was spending quite a lot of time in the company of another one of her boy toys, “Trauma” or Terrance Ward from Cosmic Indulgence, and while at first Squalo looked “unmistakeably jealous” even refusing to attend the New Years party the other two went to, the trio were later spotted sharing what a witness insisted was “lustful gazes, full of suggestiveness and want”. Perhaps an invitation to a swinger party was what finally opened the Virgo’s star’s eyes and made her ditch this embodiment of sin?

In addition to this, weird tension between MANTICORE’s and Crown of Thorns cellists has been noticed. According to an inside witnesses, Squalo and Tooru Oikawa have been “antagonizing each other for weeks”, and while at first it was reminiscent of competition, it soon grew into something full of what was described as “unbelievable sexual tension”. Another source, founder of the Cellist On Cellist Fanclub, claims she has seen them at one of Vista’s bars, throwing drinks and other objects at each other and “making shameless sounds of pleasure”, which may suggest both musicians have a masochistic streak and therefore explain this extremely unlikely relationship.

Naturally, quite a few people are unhappy with the crazy shark’s debatable success. A few Internet hate groups have been started, however it includes even fellow musicians. We have reasons to believe that Tamara’s allegedly cold treatment of her band’s new lead, Kiernan "Sariel" MacLeod, has stemmed from the latter’s displeasure of her involvement with her so-called “student and son”, and his own feelings for her. In addition, an inside source claims witnessing what “looked like a very extensive argument” between two Hue&Cry’s musicians, Dino Cavallone and August Marten, shortly after the former’s picnic date with the rival label’s star. It appears as though August harbors feelings for his bandmate - or perhaps is simply better at recognizing a guy that’s bad news than his younger colleague. But can reason change what the heart wants?

In the meantime, aside from the regular online flirting with his other darlings, Squalo has exchanged a strange Twitter conversation which included strangely censored drawings of penises with yet another Hue&Cry musician, Keith Goodman. What kind of a hidden message did it hold? Considering Keith has been seen frequenting gay bars alongside Genos, whom both men seem to harbor strong feelings for and spend a suspicious amount of time with to this day, could it be possible that they decided to join forces (and their nether regions)? In addition to that, Squalo has recently performed at a charity concert with a quite unusual for him song dedicated to MANTICORE’s drummer Jecht. The controversial lyrics, which could be interpreted as an invitation to have a threesome including his so-called “mom”, seemed to spark a passionate argument between the two metal performers, which ended with them chucking instrument parts at each other. A rough show of love or something else? Allegedly, Jecht has been seeing Tamara ever since his dubious trash-talk battle with Xanxus at the South Vista festival, but what if she is merely a cover to mask his lust for younger men’s tight buttocks?

The final and perhaps most painful to us, as music fans, piece of news includes none other but Junkyard Carnival’s “reasonable” member, Yuffie Kisaragi. She was reported to have had a violent argument with MANTICORE’s cellist in one of the local bars, even trying to hit him several times. Actions of a scorned lover? Has she gotten fed up with being second, third or tenth to someone else? Considering most of the band, save from the new lead guitarist Poe Dameron (quite possibly just the matter of time), seems to be sexually involved with the silver-haired metalhead, it seems reasonable to believe this might have something to do with the unexpected departure of Fetch, whom Squalo has allegedly also pursued and even invited to private “recording sessions”. Perhaps Yuffie’s, Lucifer’s or even Xanxus’ jealousy reach its peak as a demand to fire their newest member for getting too close to the object of their lust? Has Squalo become the de facto “Yoko Ono” that generations of fans will blame for the possible impending disbandment of Junkyard Carnival?

The author of this article has reached out to Superbia Squalo for commentary, however was rudely shut down with the suggestion to "GET BENT, BITCH." As a loving wife and mother, she refused this tempting offer from the rockstar, however it definitely serves as a mean to help paint the full picture of this person.

Knowing all this history, it’s even more surprising that this time Squalo seems to be gently courting Cavallone rather than leading him right into the bushes. Is this it, then? Has Pride’s cello virtuoso finally decided he would rather be famous for his music than for his sluttiness, and is making the effort to settle down? Does that mean Virgo’s new star is the one?

Evidently, there’s quite a few former lovers who’d like to disagree with that. Looks like a lot of hearts are getting broken in the process, and the worst of it might yet to come. Stay updated with Startime Weekly!