interstellar90210 | Twitter (@cosmicqueen)

[The focus of that attention makes her smile, and she nods but it takes her a sip of coffee or two to work up to actual speech. She doesn't really want to talk about her feelings but that's probably the only way to work through them, so what choice does she really have?]

He just disappeared. All of his stuff was gone, like he was never there in the first place. And it's ... Not like him. He kept to himself, sure, but Richard cared about all of us. I can't accept that he wouldn't at least say goodbye, or leave a letter or ... Something.

[She taps at her cup.] I don't understand why so many of us are just leaving.

In the same way, no less. [As Meril could attest, when Nariko's description might as well have applied to her four bandmates.] I do not understand it either, but you are right. It is happening to many others as well.

How did you deal with this? [Nariko doesn't know so much about what's going on with Virgo, despite the amount of friends from that side of the proverbial sea.] It was Gage who left, right?

[Krieg had mentioned it back at the festival, but Nariko's not entirely sure if she's getting the girl's name right. It's ... Oddly difficult to remember. Huh.]

[Meril shuts her eyes, then takes a deep breath.]

Gaige. Krieg. Lora. Weasel.

Defying Atmosphere is only me and Greg, now.

Krieg?

[Her voice is impossibly small when she says his name, and Meril gets a front row seat to her heart breaking all over again.] He's - When did he leave?

[Just fucking end her it would be so much simpler.]

[In this moment, Meril realizes that Nariko is a bit selfish. But she can forgive that. The girl is hurt and upset and younger than Meril herself, so little surprise.]

Recently. I do not even know how public it will be made, considering that we have been on hiatus anyway. Likely we will be reconstituted with all new members... or broken up.

[Krieg's -- And Greg and Meril?? - And - And -]

Why didn't you say anything before? [Of course she'd known about Gaige, but Lora and Weasel had never come up, and maybe she is wrong for not keeping up with her Virgo sources, but shit had been kind of nuts in the last few weeks. Something's had to give.] You've been alone in that place this whole time!

[And it's not like she's doubting Greg or what kind of bandmate or friend he would be! But how could it be healthy to just stay there in the remains of their band - their family?

... This, from the young woman who trashed her room and then stared at her own mess like it had the answer to the universe.]

[Meril, incongruously, lets slip a little smile.] It is not my nature, Nariko. You know that. And I have not been alone -- Greg has been there with me. We have been getting through this together.

[Not necessarily well, not necessarily in a healthy way, but together. (Make of that what you will, Nariko!)]

But it is why I came out. I know how you must be feeling right now... and I hope a sympathetic ear can help you.

[That response pisses her off, frankly. It's not my nature isn't an answer, it's an excuse. There's a bitter kind of jealousy that comes with hearing Greg's name, though it makes sense in as many ways. She has to swallow all of that down, turning her eyes away from her friend and just ... Deciding that this isn't the battle worth having at the moment. It's easier to feel like a shit friend than it is to argue about ending up one.]

Did it help you?

[It isn't a question to be flung back, it's honest. Meril had been with Greg the whole time and was calm enough to come out here and have a whole talk.]

...It kept things from getting worse, Nariko. To be honest, we are embarrassments who have handled this terribly poorly. Do you know, in the past month I have leveled a Battlecraft character all the way to 100? [Meril chuckles, a hollow and humorless tone.] There have been days where I woke up, took my laptop to the living room, laid on the couch, and played until it was time to go to sleep. If Greg hadn't been there, I would have probably forgotten to eat.

But he was, and it helped. I am not familiar with accepting such help... and to be honest, I am not good at offering it either. I do not know what I can do to help you, but... I will do it, if it is within my power. Whether that is listening, or counseling, or hugging, or what have you.

[The thing is... it isn't in Meril's nature to speak openly of all of this. She is emotionally closed, empathically blocked, unaccustomed to friendship, and the sort of girl one hesitates to hug without asking first.]

[But maybe it had been that terrible month, or maybe the images that kept trickling into her head are breaking her down, or maybe just because Nariko is a friend and in pain. Really, the answer is somewhere in between. Nariko asks, and Meril answers. Much more honestly than the Ice Queen normally would.]

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