Twitter (@cosmicqueen)

[gunslingerqueen]

riko @cosmicqueen richard is gone. this is not okay and I will not pretend to be okay with it. you can't just take my family from me. #igiveup #happynewyear #not

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[gunslingerqueen]

[There won't be an answer. If Terry is listening very closely he might hear her moving around a little bit, but she's either unable to hear him or she just won't answer. Still, the door is open and there's really nowhere else she could be.

If he does peek in or step inside Terry will find that she's trashed as much of her room as possible. Desk overturned, mattress askew with the sheets thrown all over. She broke as much as she could, and Nariko herself is near the window, sitting on the floor with her back up against the wall, staring off into nothing while she sniffles and wipes away tears.

So ... Yeah, she's not exactly a ray of sunshine right now.]

[traumatizing]

[Terry pokes his head in carefully first, checking she's actually there first before he goes in. He doesn't care about the mess beyond what it says about how Nariko's coping - or isn't, as the case may be - he just walks over to where she is and kneels in front of her, brushing her hair back and ducking his head to catch her eye. He doesn't say anything just yet, he just wants her to see he's here. Moreover, he's her for her.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[She doesn't look back at him, not at first. First there's the incredibly slight way that she leans into his touch which, in truth, is very much a subconscious reaction. For as angry as she is it's still impossible to ignore contact, she's a tactile person and it's the best way to get her to respond, in truth.]

I want - I want everything to be okay again!

[And even though it would be incredibly difficult for her to describe why, Terry's smart enough to connect the dots. The hazing back in October, the fucked up party that Terry and everyone else had to deal with on their own, and now Richard is gone.]

Every since we got back from tour it's -- it's just been ...

[Fucked up, a mess. And she's tired of it, but it's also difficult to put into words.]

[traumatizing]

It's all so fucked up.

[He sighs heavily as he drags himself over to the wall so he can sit next to Nariko, hoping to pull her toward him a little if she'll go for it. It feels like just the other day he was saying the same thing to Garnet-- like ever since they got back from tour, everything's been wrong.]

I wish I could fix this, but I... I can't.

[Which he feels guilty about, as though he should be able to. But Nariko should know he'd do anything in his power for her, and for the rest of them.]

[gunslingerqueen]

[She goes for it, curling up into him like a child leaning on a parent, almost. And maybe, maybe if he hadn't said that she'd indulge in it that much more. Ever since they were first put together to make up their band she's always leaned on Terry and Richard the most, and looked up to Koumei for his intellect and composure, and Garnet for her strength and patience.

But it's about time she stopped being so useless, right? That's what occurs to her when she hears the guilt in his tone.]

It's not your fault. [She doesn't sound as strong as she'd like to but it's a start. She puts her arms around him in return, squeezing as if it might impart enough strength onto the both of them.] ... We'll make him proud. That's what we can do. He'll hear us no matter where he is.

[That much was in their control, and it's the only way she can think of retaining their family.]

[traumatizing]

[Terry makes an affirmative noise and puts an arm around Nariko, his other hand combing through her hair gently. They can do that. And not just musically. Richard knew something was wrong, and Terry's gonna figure it out. He'll fix this. He'll keep them safe. It's all he can do.]

[The annoying thing is he can't even promise he's not going anywhere. If Richard had his way, he'd at least have said something first, but no. He's just gone, and what's to stop that happening to anyone else?]

[Terry sighs, and suddenly he looks down at Nariko like he's had the most important thought.] We should write something. A tribute. [...] See him off properly, you know?