The Vista City Star

[faithfulflame]

FoB? Acronym for Flowers over Bones or Fear of Bears?


by Gracie Laws





In a tragic display of seasonal confusion, famous Shamisen player Ivan Karelin was spotted at the Vista City Midtown Mall fleeing from the beloved Snow Bear who attends every year. Karelin isn't the only victim of Arkoudaphobia this year, but he's certainly the most high profile. Sadly Arkoudaphobia is becoming more and more common in this day and age,and the holiday mascot is responsible for a growing number of incidents like this.

Eye witness accounts claim that Karelin just “started freakin' out, mumbling to himself about not being caught.” Another person said that bandmate Luce attempted to calm down the musician but he grew so agitated that he just “started shakin'! Like he was gonna vibrate through the floor or somethin'. Ain't never seen nothing like it.”

But that's perhaps not the strangest part of what happened. The young musician, famous for his origami shuriken, actually struck back against the costumed mascot, hurling dozens of his signature item at fellow performer and costumed mascot extraordinaire Jack Anapes. Naturally no harm was done, but Mr. Anapes said that several of the paper missiles had come “dangerously close” to his eyes and the costume's mouth and he might be considering pressing assault charges. Police and mall security laughed it off, claiming the incident was just “Another one of those weirdo musicians having a bit of a freakout and maybe pullin' a publicity stunt.”

Whether it's a stunt or legitimate Arkoudaphobia case, one thing is certain. Ivan and his entire band are definitely not fond of the Snow Bear, and if there's another incident FoB may very well become synonymous “Fear of Bears!”


[And there are several photos of paper shuriken littering the floor around a blurred out man in a bear suit. They may be doctored, with a definite amateur quality to the work.]

Comments

[sponsorigami]

[ Normally, Ivan would be all aloof hipster "They don't get me. Who cares?" ninja about this, but he's been stressed enough and has had visions crack the facade enough to where he does have a reaction. Yes, they don't understand why he reacted the way he did. (Did he throw anything at a costumed Snow Bear? Did he even get close enough to? He... doesn't remember...)

But if this gets him trolls sending him bears, gods help him, he's chucking them all off the balcony! ]