Missing in Action

[variaboss]

After a series of crazy antics, star goes missing

by Jeanette Akenja-Nearing

With his antics growing more and more darng, perhaps this year's Vista Music Festival was the final straw for manager Camila Santoya. Not only did he announce his flagrant drug use, he was witnessed not only drinking with Superbia Squalo and Genos of MÄNTICORE. But this is not before the bad boy of Junkyard Carnival was seen whipping his dick out in public in an apparent dick measuring contest with the aforementioned big violin player, Squalo. {Heavily censored pictures of Xanxus and Squalo's dick-off. Xanxus' black bar is bigger.}

Not days later, the bassist went missing. Rumor has it that manager Santoya sent him to rehab. Further investigation led this reporter first to bandmate Yuffie Kisaragi over drinks. After a few drinks, the sourcer evaded questioning. This reporter will keep an eye on open windows during interviews from here on out. However, contacting Lucifer yielded better results. According to the Junkyard Carnival frontwoman, Xanxus' sudden disappearance it's an act of retaliation, against what she didn't say. But she claims that when she attempted to reach out to the parties she believed to have him, no one assisted her.

This leaves this humble reporter to think that Xanxus has indeed been spirited away to some secure rehab facility. I hope that he will get the help he needs for his issues and his addictions and be back in time for Junkyard Carnival's next tour.