You're So Vain~♫

[trustme]

★ Mr. Universe Thinks He's The Center of It ★
by Gabby Gums


If you haven’t heard of Defying Atmosphere’s lead Greg Universe you've probably been living in a hole. The symphonic metal singer, guitarist, and songwriter has become one of the year’s top musicians, known for his hypnotizing fantasy lyrics and his long luxurious dark hair. On stage and on Twitter he holds a reputation for being polite and professional but multiple individuals who have met him away from the spotlight have had very different stories to tell.

It seems Mr. Universe is more than just a little self absorbed and obsessed with his looks, particularly with his trademark hair. According to inside sources, Greg’s bedroom has been adorned with mirrors, and new hair product is called for daily. Grooming to look good for the paparazzi is one thing, but commanding multiple housekeeping employees and stylists to comb and brush your hair multiple times a day? –Excessive to say the least. Greg has been seen yelling at Virgo staff for offering hair products that aren't his favorite brand, lecturing employees for arriving late to his regular hair brushings, and even stopping practice sessions to break and groom himself.

The others in Defying Atmosphere aren't safe either. Sources say his bandmates have also been forced to brush Greg’s hair as punishment for poor performances. Daily, Greg commands his band to line up for inspection during which he confirms if each member’s head meets his standards. Weasel, the band’s bassist, recently left Defying Atmosphere. Rumor has it Greg disapproved of Weasel’s hair, regularly complaining in front of the rest of the band that it looked greasy. We tried to reach Weasel for a comment but to no avail. It seems Mr. Universe and his universe-sized ego chased him out of town.