Take my breath away

[twoscompany]

VIP SANS SANS
TROMBONE PLAYER PACKED OFF TO CLINIC AFTER EMBARRASSING DRUG-FILLED EVENING
Vandalism in Progress has potentially lost a second band member. Tromboners, get ready, you might have a chance in show business after all.

Virgo Records has announced that Sans Esqueleto has been sent to an undisclosed rehab center for an "indefinite hiatus" after photos apparently surfaced of Sans and several other prominent musicians going on what could only be described as a hardcore night of illicit activities. One source described it as a night that would make Lesedi Santiago blush.

"It was bad," our source confirmed, under the condition of anonymity. "The photos from this evening will never see the light of day. Two words to describe how bad off Sans was by the end: snorting Toc-Tics."

A second source conferred with the incident, explaining that near the end of the night, it was a certain "white-haired" musician - we are speculating it's fellow VIP fiend Bai Shen - who dared him in that particular instance. "He was high. He'd gotten a cocktail of drugs in his system, along with the other musicians he invited to his room. A lot of the drugs were illegal - like, crazy name levels of illegal, squeeze-ass and catnado and all - and a lot of us are amazed anyone who took them are still alive! Anyways, the bet was a thousand dollars that Sans couldn't put a full package of orange mints up his nose. So, up his nostrils the Toc-Tics went, and off to the hospital he went for a two hour surgery. He had at least half a package's worth, all the way up to his sinus cavity!"

The source wouldn't name others involved in the insane party, but insinuated that at least one "very popular up and coming musician" in Virgo was also involved and managed to supply some of the crazier drugs - and the Toc-Tics, which were meant to freshen his breath for the next morning. "This musician has started to get out of control, honestly. If Sans hadn't gotten his hands on them, this musician would have downed the package like he does every morning, to keep his image of sobriety intact. But he's getting to be just as bad as Sans is. Its actually because of Sans him and a lot of other musicians have started falling off the wagon. He'd always had these problems, but Virgo wanted to give him a chance. Still, its behavior really unbecoming of a Virgo Records musician. You want to do that, you go to that other label."

Calls to Virgo Records' PR firm confirmed that Esqueleto had been sent to an undisclosed medical facility for "undisclosed reasons", and that he was taking a sabbatical effective immediately. Any fan correspondence for him - if there's any left after the revelation of this development, of course - will confidentially be forwarded to the facility. Meanwhile, according to our anonymous sources, all other musicians involved are getting in-label counseling and reprimands.

In unrelated news, Toc-Tic stock has risen .2%.