TAM-TAM ANGRY, TAM-TAM PUNCH!

[scalpedsociety]

A Pugilist Pianist?!

 

By: A.W. Mann

We are usually used to reporting about Pride artists and the wild and crazy things they do on stage and off. Sure enough, this article happens to be about one of them, but not who you (and us) would expect for wild behavior. We are talking about Tamara Seward, pianist of the popular goth-classical band Crown of Thorns. She's known for her kind, gracious, almost motherly appearance that easily makes her the most friendly person in the band and a natural spokeswoman for what the band is up to. Fans even lovingly call her 'Mother Datura'.

It's been reported at a local dive bar called Blu Monday, Tamara punched out a patron and ran into the streets with no shoes on. It seems impossible to most loyal fans and those that watch her career that she would do such a thing. "Some artists can't take the spotlight. Some of them breakdown in bizarre and often violent ways." Psychologist Dr. Jade Bond commented. Could this be a case of an artist unable to take fame or is the story more complex than that? We decided to investigate.

"No, the woman wasn't crazy." Bruno Foster, a bartender at Blu Monday told us. "The lady was minding her own business and drinking until this nerd looking guy spotted her and started to take pictures of her. Knocked down two customers just to get to her."

The story seems to line up with those that were on the street that night. "For one thing, she punched the guy after she ran out the bar. She was running in heels and it just rained. She slipped and fell and a guy sat by her and started to take selfies with her. Then she punched him. Also there was a girl following her as and she stole her shoes right off her feet. It was crazy as f****." Misty Romero, a bystander quipped.

A anonymous tip gave us an opportunity to talk with the victim of the punch in his home, Hugh Nolan. "She was so beautiful in person. Like a painting of a goddess come to life, I just had to take pictures of her." His room is covered in Tamara-focused COT merchandise, including tons of posters and photos of the pianist on the walls. When asked if he'd sue her for assault, he had this to say: "No! I got punched by Datura herself. My friends at the Court of Thorns blog couldn't believe it. Besides, she's beautiful and strong, I love her even more now.~" As he says this, he hugged what looked to be a body pillow of the pianist, drawn and extremely sexualised in a skimpy outfit.

Tamara could not be reached for comment. As for what really happened that night, we leave it to your personal opinion.