interstellar90210 | Building Band Interest

Who are the Monsters of Vandalism In Progress?

By Nora Mackentire

[The article is accompanied with a photo of Bill and Celty, back to back and posing with their instruments in hands.]

Everyone is talking about the new upcoming Electro-Jazz sensation: Vandalism in Progress! With their hot beats and original sound, fans can't help but wonder who are they now, where did they get their start? This month we'll be giving you the inside scoop on each member in a series of articles; starting off today with band’s pianist and saxophone player:

Best known for her mysterious obsession with covering her face, Celty Sturluson plays the keyboard instruments for the band. Despite best efforts by investigators, little to nothing is known about her past. The most reliable info our reporters have uncovered is that Sturluson may have worked at Vista City’s own Eat-N-Meet on 13th Street. However, the manager refused to answer questions and repeatedly mentioned that details on former employees are confidential.

Photos of the woman without her trademark helmets have yet to be uncovered. Inside sources from Virgo Records say that not even her bandmates have seen what lies beneath the mask. Furthermore, she frequently wears full costumes and gloves that cover her entire body. In response to reporter questions, Sturluson simply responded that she “didn’t want to talk about it” and refuses to reveal her reasons for obscuring her face. Despite this hard stance, Sturluson seems to have a good sense of humor on the subject.

“Another bad hair day. Guess I’ll have to wear the helmet again today,” she joked on twitter.

Fan response is split on Sturluson’s gimmick.

“I don’t think I even wanna know, y’know?” said one fan. “It’d ruin, y’know, the mystery of her. I just like wondering. And if that what makes her comfortable and ensuring she makes good music, more power to her, y’know?”

“I bet she’s hot,” said another fan. “Like, really hot.”

What do you think lies behind the mask, readers? Is the artist hiding a horribly disfigured face? Perhaps she’s self-conscious and wants to avoid serious media attention. Or is Sturluson just trying to create interest where there is none?

If there is one member of ViP who took the opposite approach to the enigmatic Sturluson, it is the band's energetic saxophone player Bill Cipher.

A subject of ample controversy, Bill Cipher allegedly lost his right eye shortly after signing the label with Virgo due to what reporters have only been told were “unforeseen circumstances.” The lack of details regarding the incident have led fans to create a variety of theories including fights with rival labels or an urban legend regarding a fan who was desperate to simply “have a piece of him.”

Despite the setback, Cipher never seems to shy away from his disfigurement, leading some to speculate he may have gone as far as to create the injury himself.

“Man, I don't know what to think about that guy['s injury] but he's a hell of a musician. I don’t think the shows would be the same without him.”

“That freak belongs in a straightjacket, not up on stage!”

“LOVE THAT GUY! Bill puts the vandal in Vandalism!”

But Bill does more than play for his band; notorious for utilizing a curious form of marketing that leads his fans on a wild clue chase for secret shows and special merchandise, it would seem the highly eccentric musician also works tirelessly on creating hidden messages to keep fans interested. Despite this apparently strong work ethic, Cipher has also been known for excessive partying. So who is the jazz musician, really? Is he a rowdy slacker, a misunderstood genius, or a hard worker who simply never breaks character in public. Whatever the case, Bill wants us to keep watching him and we are happy to oblige.

With their dance heavy grooves, creative viral marketing and diverse variety of members, Vandalism in Progress is one band that is as exciting to watch as they are to hear. Tune in for our continuation on the next round of members in the upcoming weeks!